The Gorda Gecko

On the Caribbean island of Virgin Gorda lives a tiny but precocious gecko named what else?--the Virgin Gorda Gecko. The typical Gorda Gecko measures about 3/4 of an inch in length, but possibly inspired the notorious "Wall Street' character, Gordon Gecko. These little guys are cheeky, but wise. They bravely appear almost anywhere at the most unpredictable moments, but then vanish just as quickly. During a recent visit to Virgin Gorda, one of these diminutive dynamos leaped on to my hand while I was reading quietly in my lounge chair then laughingly launched himself out of sight. They are truly amazing creatures.

On my last day on the island, I set out on a hike through the rainforest, a trek dappled with scenic views of the ocean far below. I intended to hike in solitude, but my gecko friends chose to keep me company. They are bold creatures, seemingly unaware of their size and the potential danger that surrounds them. And yet it occurred to me that maybe they understood something that I was missing.

Along the way, other creatures joined the geckos to greet me on this somewhat abandoned trail. One of the more amusing was the most massive hermit crabs I have ever seen. They were everywhere. These creatures, lacking the wiliness of the geckos, were possibly the clumsiest fools I've ever seen in nature. Unaccustomed to intruders, the hermit crabs were stunned by the threat of danger. Hearing my footsteps, their instinctive reaction was to roll up in their ill-fitting shells without regard to their position on the precarious slope surrounding the trail. The result--every single crab rolled awkwardly down the slope above and landed precisely in my path teetering hopelessly on its back leveraged by a typically over-sized shell exposing itself mercilessly to me, the potential predator. The trail was strewn with bits and pieces of foolish crustaceans verifying my theory. As each little crab rolled into my path, I took the time to set in a safe position, scolding it as if it could understand my every word. But, I couldn't help but observe the contrast between the hermit crabs and the Gorda Geckos.

I suddenly realized that for years, I had been so like the clumsy crabs. How did I get that way? When did I start hiding in my shell? And, oh my God, this shell has been way too heavy for me to carry on my back! What was I thinking?! And how many times have I been teetering on my back, exposed to the world, but senseless of the danger assuming like the proverbial ostrich that if I stick my head in the sand, the danger will pass?

And I took another look at my gecko friends--as they were in fact observing me with amusement. They knew I had figured it out...their secret. Living large is not a measure of size or position--it's a choice. We can hide in our shells and blame our situation on the restrictions of our "living space", or we can venture out and own the rainforest...3/4 of an inch at a time if necessary. But we just need to be brave enough to begin.

And so...I choose to begin. The rainforest will be mine!

Diane Von Furstenberg vs. Omar the Tent Maker (krin)

LMAO!  A nice change for once.  No heavy oxygen-sucking depression to be found.  Thank the makers and the universe as a whole for whatever hand they had in the shift.  Quietly and hidden from the sight of mere mortals, planets may have realigned. Houses may have risen and set, as they tend to do, without any real perception.  Whatever the reasons, I am grateful for a handful of heartfelt chuckles today.

What is it about the rain that lifts my spirits?  The grey, the relentless streams of water pouring onto the streets, sidewalks, and grass.  The waterfalls spilling off the eaves of buildings, threatening to soak unsuspecting people bundled in vain against the wet.  The blinding bolts of lightning and the truly earsplitting cracks of thunder.  I love driving in it.  I love walking in it.  I love sitting on my couch bundled up and staring out into it for hours on end.  There is real life in this condition, energy unbounded.  I can feel it to my core.  And much like the sunlight heats us all from the inside out, jump starting the hidden battery of energy within, the rain in its murkiness can do the same for me.

And so I sit here laughing at the comparison of the slim, short, fashionable Diane Von Furstenberg dress to the caped, ample, functional garments of Omar the Tentmaker.  Having been at one time fit to the point of women whispering "steroids...??..." around the edges of my world, I am comfortable with the fact that, at the moment, it is Omar's card that sits at the front of my fashion rolodex.  It is a temporary state.  Hell, it's all a temporary state, right?  Once it passes, and I've again embraced my body in its glory, I will not discard Omar, burying him at the back of the cards.  I will let him stay.  I will let him sit next to Diva Von F as long as he likes.  Really, who the hell decided that fat clothes and skinny clothes can't live next to each other.  Like they might cancel each other out in some twisted parallel universe way, and leave us in some in between state of not quite thin but not quite fat.  Who comes up with this stuff?

So, ladies. While some of us may be able to wear the Diva duds at the moment, and some of us are more comfortable with Omar, let us embrace the glory of them both.  For on any given day, it is possible to feel more like one or the other several times.  Perhaps what we need is some simple device that enables us to, at the push of a button, convert the A-Line mini to a Tent, and back again.

Two weeks nearly complete and I'm happy to say that I have lost 4 pounds, so that is 2 pounds a week. They say that is the healthy way to do it. It's all been done by changing what I eat...nearly all processed food has been cut out of my diet. That change alone is huge! I still haven't been able to do any real cardio exercise with this damn dizziness. I have an MRI this morning and an ENG balance test Monday and maybe they can find out what is wrong with me! I have to go without my caffiene and ativan for 48 hours before the testing Monday. I told George and Lindsey to lock me in a room and don't let me out unless you feed me or use the potty LOL Have a great weekend ladies. We miss you Mind!

Have I Mentioned 50? (krin)

Have I mentioned that my fiftieth is looming?  I never thought I would be "that" woman, but I flatly refuse to turn 50 looking and feeling this way. Never. Never. No. No. No.  Three months is ample time to rediscover my core, my health, and my youth. :)

Week Two and Still Stuttering... (krin)

The best of intentions....the axioms immediately overwhelm.  As the second week of the new year rolls in, I am still struggling to shake off the depression that has enveloped me over recent months.  There are days of energy and clarity, but they are woefully outnumbered.  Not eating is easy.  Eating with regularity is hard.  Knowing that movement is of paramount importance is simple.  Making it happen is an unrelenting challenge.  I am surrounded each day by bright sunlight while the rest of the country struggles beneath a national freeze.  The streets are clear, the walkways welcoming, yet I sit in the house, wont to step into the sun.


Yesterday I wandered out into the world.  Hoping to spend some meditative and healing time at the Lake Shrine, but finding it closed for the day, I made my way to the Getty Villa.  Surrounding oneself with beauty is never a bad idea.  I craned my neck to see the pillared columns and friezes that reach high above.  I stood in awe before statues of Zeus and his fellow gods and goddesses, the marble detail truly overpowering.  I pondered the hand pounded silver goblets, vials, and jewelry, wondering what I could create with my own hands.  I strolled leisurely through the garden, marveling at the bareness of the arms of the fig and pomegranate trees, the random leaves on the dormant grapevines, and the contrasting lushness of the papyrus, rosemary, and lavender.  I stood at the western tip of the reflecting pool and looked out past the hills and the museum's original building to the Pacific.  [Sigh] How I miss the ocean.  And how difficult it was to climb back into my car, fuss through traffic, and return to my side of the hill - far from the ocean, the peace, the beauty.


Here I sit today, struggling to do the right thing.  Eat smart. Write prolifically.  Find gainful employment.  And by all means, MOVE MOVE MOVE!!  One moment at a time, my friends.  One moment at a time.

One Win to the Weekend!

How do you deal with a small potluck dinner party on Saturday night and a baby shower on Sunday? I lost two pounds last week and gained them back over the weekend. I brought a huge green salad to the potluck, but with only two other couples, I had to be polite and try the food they brought as well. I did skip the marinated asparagus wrapped in maple bacon and dripping in butter--my well-known vegetarian claims saved the day there. But I couldn't avoid everything other than my own green salad. And I have to admit, I didn't want to go to the shower since a certain relative of mine is being a pain in the butt right now. So, I stress ate my way through the afternoon then topped it off with a slice of pizza last night.

And so, I begin again with the daunting threat of five days of vacation this week. We are headed to the British Virgin Islands to a spa type of resort, so I think I will be able to make healthy choices there. I also plan to hike or workout in addition to yoga every day. So, who knows...maybe I'll leave a few pounds in the Caribbean by next Monday! :)

Cuisine at Home CuisineLite cookbook has so many yummy recipes that are quick and fresh. Food even my guy will eat. Comfort food recipe makeovers too, like mac and cheese. Also saw on one of the morning shows the other day a quick tip for a healthy snack: Roll grapes in goat cheese (slighlty messy) then roll in crushed pistachios. Put in the fridge and grab as you. I might even take these little gems to the next girls night : )