Week Two and Still Stuttering... (krin)

The best of intentions....the axioms immediately overwhelm.  As the second week of the new year rolls in, I am still struggling to shake off the depression that has enveloped me over recent months.  There are days of energy and clarity, but they are woefully outnumbered.  Not eating is easy.  Eating with regularity is hard.  Knowing that movement is of paramount importance is simple.  Making it happen is an unrelenting challenge.  I am surrounded each day by bright sunlight while the rest of the country struggles beneath a national freeze.  The streets are clear, the walkways welcoming, yet I sit in the house, wont to step into the sun.


Yesterday I wandered out into the world.  Hoping to spend some meditative and healing time at the Lake Shrine, but finding it closed for the day, I made my way to the Getty Villa.  Surrounding oneself with beauty is never a bad idea.  I craned my neck to see the pillared columns and friezes that reach high above.  I stood in awe before statues of Zeus and his fellow gods and goddesses, the marble detail truly overpowering.  I pondered the hand pounded silver goblets, vials, and jewelry, wondering what I could create with my own hands.  I strolled leisurely through the garden, marveling at the bareness of the arms of the fig and pomegranate trees, the random leaves on the dormant grapevines, and the contrasting lushness of the papyrus, rosemary, and lavender.  I stood at the western tip of the reflecting pool and looked out past the hills and the museum's original building to the Pacific.  [Sigh] How I miss the ocean.  And how difficult it was to climb back into my car, fuss through traffic, and return to my side of the hill - far from the ocean, the peace, the beauty.


Here I sit today, struggling to do the right thing.  Eat smart. Write prolifically.  Find gainful employment.  And by all means, MOVE MOVE MOVE!!  One moment at a time, my friends.  One moment at a time.